If Only I Had

I have seen the quotes, the tattoos, and the posters shouting “No Regrets!” Unfortunately it’s simply not a reality - at least in my life I’ve not found that to be true. Instead as the title suggests I find myself often thinking, “If only I had…”

I’m going to be perfectly honest. I have and will continue to have regrets. Not because I wish there were things I hadn’t done, but rather regret that they didn’t work. Does that make sense? Yes, I learned from my mistakes and I am very glad to have made them. But that does not mean I am glad they didn’t work they way I wanted. And I regret that. As I look back on those times I will most certainly say If only I had done this or that.

It’s simple really. There are two ways to look at the phrase, If only I had.

1. If only I had done something differently.
That means I attempted something. I tried. I may have failed but I tried. I am looking back on an experience and learning from my failure. There is benefit in questioning your choices and determining if you could have done something better. I like this option.

2. The second option is not so good. If I didn’t attempt an idea.
If I quit before even trying and look back and say, If only I had tried. I consider that a failure. Because I didn’t try. This is the option where I should have been better. I should have tried. I don’t like living with this regret. It says I was too scared to try. I let my fear dictate my actions or the opinions of another keep me from doing what I thought would have worked. Could it still have been an epic failure? Absolutely. But I wouldn’t be wondering what if…

So it’s quite simple to me. I don’t have a problem with saying “If only I had.” I have a problem with not trying. Next time you’re looking back on decisions you made and times you’ve failed I encourage you - it’s ok to analyze and learn from your mistakes. Question yourself. But don’t give up before you start. Don’t regret that you didn’t try.